The Devil Water

Over the last few months, the Pants household has had some difficulties reconciling our love of technology with our love of water. Over Thanksgiving, our roomie spilled a glass of water on Mr. Pants' laptop, which luckily only necessitated the replacement of the keyboard. We were pretty fortunate on that one... of course, it still cost a pretty penny.
Last week, the Mr. went to the gym (yay!), came home, and threw his workout clothes into the washing machine without taking his cell phone out of the pocket.
A little background may be in order.
We've had problems with these damnhellass Motorola cell phones ever since we got them in September of last year. First off, they don't work in our home worth a shit. Poo, I mean. When I'm talking on my cell phone and heading home, folks can always tell when I get within a block of my house because my freakin' cell phone goes spotty.
Second, there are apparently lots of problems with the mechanisms on the cell phones that cause them to make noise, both when ringing and when allowing you to hear what the people on the other end of the line are saying. (Hearing what other people far away are saying is really the reason we got cell phones in the first place, not that it matters to Motorola.) Mr. Pants and I have the same model; mine has been replaced once because it stopped ringing, and his has been replaced TWICE because the sound kept dropping out in the earpiece and the only way he could hear people was by putting them on speakerphone. This had the potential for extreme embarassment and really pissed off anyone in the vicinity.
So, he finally got a phone that works, has it for about a month and a half, and throws it in the washing machine. Guess what? Now it's not working! And for some reason (can't imagine why), washing your cell phone with the lights isn't covered by the one-year warranty! (Maybe they would have covered the gentle cycle?)
His new theory is that if he had only put it in the dryer to dry it out, maybe it would have come back to life.
So, he's been online this week looking up phones, and of course they all cost hundreds and hundreds of dollars if you don't sign up for a new plan, which stinks. Maybe this time he can get one that works underwater.